Adem Doesn't Know How He Got Into The Sunsphere... And Where Are His Shoes?

Alright, so I haven't posted a lot lately. There are a couple of reasons for this and I'll probably be too vague or too descriptive, as I often find is the case with the things I write. Nonetheless, I have a full time job now and have been working and then going out and about. The name of this post should probably have been, "Adem Learns To Drink." On top of that, I haven't felt much like writing lately. It's a lonely point in my life where I am finally surrounded with people and yet somehow still feel so misunderstood and unbalanced.

So we will start with the job. It is amazing, full time, and I love it. I basically hang out in the projects and get paid. However, it also means getting up early in the morning and remaining clean-shaved, which some of you know is not something I like to do. I love my beard. And I miss it, dearly. I also miss Charlie, my hat, whom I recently tipped a waitor with at an iHop somewhere between Chatanooga and Atlanta. What a friendly fellow, he was.

I have also had a few very, uh, southern people in Dale Earnhardt shirts tell me to get my yankeee @55 (is that how the kids are spelling ass now so they don't get in trouble?) back to New York. So, it's been an interesting couple of weeks since my last post.

Something cool that happened! I have mentioned Tyler Lyle before, most specifically at www.4thirtyseven.com/familyofstrangers where I credit him with helping to inspire some of the writings from that EP... Well, anyways, he recently played a couple of shows here in Knoxville and I went and met him and heard him play. I cried hysterically for much of his set. A small portion was the beauty of his songs but I think more predominantly, the reason is that I have been listening to him since probably November-ish and his music has been a guiding light through some really stressful and frustrating times. When he played "Secret," I was driving to the Lost Horizon again to perform with The Brilliant Light, and when he played "Closer To Me," I was sitting in the car with Kirsten by the river meditating on the words both of us were thinking as they poured from my speakers. It was a very emotional experience.

However, right now, I am sitting in my bed in Strawberry Plains, procastinating the preparations for Easter service tomorrow and thinking about the Egg Hunt I have very loosely planned in the Old City tonight. If I'm completely honest with everyone, I am struggling in a lot of areas right now and I am putting things before G-d and allowing my will, my focus, my concentration, and my worries to overpower His path for my life. It has been easy for me lately, because of the loneliness I have felt, to justify any number of self mutilating actions.

Sometimes the best example I can be for people is a show of the things you shouldn't do. I pray in the name of YeShua that people would have the clarity and wisdom to know the difference. We carry on in our weakness knowing that it is in those that the glory of G-d can be known. May we continuously be regenerating closer to His heart. I want to write His commands on the tablet of my heart.

Humbly yours,
Adem